Mind the Add- Ons

This week has been all about social media for me. Well, it has been about starting a brand- new Instagram account (make sure to follow us here) and editing snippets of video from our keynote talks at the summer conference. I will be posting these snippets on our FB page and Instagram, so watch for them!

While I was creating a snippet from Sharon Salzberg’s talk, she mentions to watch for the add- ons. What does she mean? Have a watch:

She is speaking of all of the little stories and narratives that we run with in response to a moment of happening: whether that happening be painful or good. These stories take us away from the direct experience and pile on heaps of sufferings and untruths or fantasies.

I can still remember Rob Nairn speaking at Samye Ling and pointing out that we lie to ourselves all of the time- and we tell the most damaging lies to ourselves, not to others. He asked the question,

‘Who hear feels like they have been rejected at some point?’

To which we all shifted uncomfortably in our seats, giggling at the knowledge that most of us felt that we had been rejected at some point.

As a result, Rob explained that the lie that we might tell ourselves is that we ARE a reject. Done deal. And everyone that we meet will reject us, confirming this. And even if the people we meet do not reject us, our body language or message to them will be that we are a reject. Not only do we buy into the lie but we will try to sell the lie! Or as Sharon says, the add- on has taken over.

This came up once between a friend of mine and I. She was studying at the time and told me that she was worried because she felt that she could not do well in her course as she doesn’t read books. I asked her what she meant. She told me that throughout all of her life, she had never read a book. So, I gave her one of my favourite page turners. She was hesitant, I coerced, and she read the book. She then went on to ask for more books, because she is now a book reader!

Going back to Sharon’s example, the man who clenched his jaw was uptight and would be for rest of his life- not only that, but he would never become close to anyone because he was so uptight. He bought into the lie: the add- on took over.

So what lies are we telling ourselves? What add- ons accompany our experiences?

This week’s challenge is to watch for the add- ons. Can we notice all of the stories we add on to our moments of discomfort and even moments of celebration with an open and curious mind? And maybe even remind ourselves that, as Rob says, ‘it doesn’t have to be this way’.

-Jane

To visit our website: please click here

To join our membership: please click here

To follow us on Instagram: please click here

To follow us on YouTube: please click here

Comment

Be the First to Comment!

avatar