Feb22026
Team BlogsLiving Well to Die Well

By Heather Regan-Addis

 

A couple of years ago I heard a story that non-dual teacher Rupert Spira tells. It has stayed with me and informed my practice and my approach to life.

He talked about a romantic relationship he had in his twenties, which he thought would be the relationship of his life. Then his girlfriend phoned him to end the relationship and in a matter of minutes, this whole future, in which he had invested his happiness dissolved and was lost. He was devastated.

This happens in life, when something ends unexpectedly. The imagined future, which we had invested our happiness in, dissolves and is lost. As is our happiness.

And as we go through life, what do we lose – relationships, jobs, material possessions, children who leave home? As we get older these losses tend to increase. As many of us get older we start to lose physical and cognitive ability. This is part of the human condition which we all share.

Rupert’s experience caused him to reflect where his happiness was best invested and he chose the path of meditation, which has not failed him.

In recent years my meditation practice is a place where I have invested much of my own happiness, and it is not failing me either.

My meditation practice is always there for me to enable me to see clearly and understand what is happening within my mind and my life. It is always there to hold whatever painful experiences arise with kindness and care. It is always there to help me see a wider perspective, than just my own.

But most importantly, as I have practiced over these years, a confidence and a trust has slowly developed in the fundamental okness of my being. Whatever happens, this fundamental okness is always there to fall back on, never impacted or damaged in any way by experience, however intense or difficult. This indeed is worth investing in!

The qualities of this fundamental okness are unperturbable peace, unconditional love and effortless joy. Would you like to connect with this a bit more within your own mind and life? Try this mini meditation for a taste.

In my work as an NHS chaplain, I see all types of losses all the time. Loss of health, ability, life, family, friends, all of which increases with age. I also see how those who are in touch with their fundamental okness, manage these losses with grace, which is astonishing and beautiful to behold. You see it in their eyes and they see it in my eyes, we recognise it in each other, through our mutual presence.

Investing our happiness in this fundamental okness is how we live well. How our life and our relationships flourish, despite whatever hardship occurs. Investing our happiness in this fundamental okness is how we age with grace and how we die in peace.

Our next living well to die well course starts on the weekend of 30th and 31st May, either online or in person at the Crichton in Dumfries. Why not come and join us?

 

Author: Heather Regan-Addis

Heather lives on the East Coast of Yorkshire with her two golden labradors Rosie and Iona. She works as a Director and meditation teacher for the Mindfulness Association, teaches on the University of Aberdeen’s MSc in Studies in Mindfulness and also works as a Buddhist Healthcare Chaplain in the NHS. She is a BAMBA registered Mindfulness teacher and a UKBHC registered healthcare chaplain. She began training in Mindfulness Meditation with Rob Nairn in 2004 and is currently taking regular retreats with non-dual teacher Rupert Spira who’s teachings are based in Advaita Vedanta and courses with global Buddhist organisation Tara Mandala. She is British Wheel of Yoga trained yoga teacher, has a Post Graduate Diploma in Mindfulness Based Approaches from the University of Bangor, Wales and has a Masters degree in Studies in Mindfulness from the University of Aberdeen. She is the co-author of three books, Mindfulness Based Living Course, Compassion Based Living Course and From Mindfulness to Insight.