Awareness-
her gaze is so constant,
our every move
watched
with such affection,
a ceaseless vigil
without condition
or agenda,
silent,
patient,
unrelenting in her
embrace.

There is endless room in
the heart of this lover,
infinite space for whatever
foolishness we may
toss her way.

But she is also
crafty, this one-
a thief who will steal away
everything we ever cherished,
all our beliefs,
all our ideas,

all our philosophies,
until nothing is left
but her shimmering
wakefulness,

this simple love
for what is.

by John Astin

 

It’s nature that is teaching me the most about awareness at the moment. Something about just being in nature seems to make resting in awareness enticing and effortless. This feels like the blessing of summer: the giving of myself to moments each day where I let expansive awareness embrace nature’s fluttering, chirping, green, wet, sunny, warm and changing display.

Nature beckons from outside the bubble of the thinking world. So much of our experience is filtered through layers of thought that become tightly woven together over time, creating a kind of enclosure through which we perceive both ourselves and the world. If we allow those layers to lose some of their grip, and as confidence in simple presence deepens, awareness may reveal ‘herself’ as a ‘shimmering wakefulness’ in John Astin’s words.

Then there is an ease that comes. There is less need to defend or reinforce a fixed idea of me, and more room for a lighter relationship with selfhood. This is what Mingyur Rinpoche describes as the ‘Mere I’, which is a self that functions fluidly and is less tightly held in a solid position. This is in contrast to the ‘Reified I’ that is the default for most of us.

John Astin’s poem makes no pretence about awareness – yes, she may melt our cherished and trusted fixed identities, opinions and ideas. But what if this melting could give us back our natural open heart? Would it not be worth it?

 

 

 

Ps. Find out more about awareness and the Mere and Reified I in our Insight Training (prerequisites apply). If it’s practicing in nature that allures you check out our Nature as Refuge weekend in July.

Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash