I am moving house again to live on the coast in Yorkshire. I made the decision at Christmas when I was there staying with my sister Helen (my support bubble). I have loved living in Scotland, just up the road from Samye Ling, and have been quite happy and content. However, with Samye Ling shut and with lockdown in full swing I have missed the fun and laughter that I used to experience living with my family. Also, the importance of my family in Yorkshire has become more apparent to me, always there to support me through thick and thin. Perhaps I can be there and support them.
I grew up in York and have very fond memories from my childhood of the seaside and have taken many holidays there with my own family as an adult. Someone said to me that “It’s the Yorkshire dream” to live by the coast, so I will be living the dream. It is 35 years since I left Yorkshire to go to university in London and I never thought I would move back. It is so interesting the causes and conditions in life that we learn to surf and where they take us.
Samye Ling and my teachers are in my heart, my true home, and so it doesn’t really matter where I live. I think many of us have found this during lockdown.
I have found a deep peace and a sense of inner Okness living here and having a big teaching on impermanence has served me well. I notice a big difference in my attitude to my current house move from the initial house move up to Scotland. Both have taken time and there were significant obstacles, but whereas on my move up to Scotland I was desperately trying to get everything to work out, this time I have left it to unfold in its own way and in its own time. A lot less stressful and a lot less suffering. And of course everything has fallen in to place.
In fact, all is falling in to place far better than I could ever have imagined, as seems to be the way when we let things unfold. I will be joining the Scarborough Samye Dzong community and supporting Ani Tselha in her work there. I decided I wanted to begin sea swimming and the community there do that regularly. I have many friends there, due to my connections with the Scarborough centre, from before it even was a centre. My daughter and her partner will love it there, by the sea with plenty of pubs in walking distance! And of course, my sister and my nephew will be there, both full of fun and laughter to share.
Finally, the move seems to be crystalising into reality and I am beginning to allow myself to believe that it will really happen. Up until now I have been careful not to get my hopes up too much, knowing that everything could fall through – indeed it still could. When I have noticed my mind beginning to dwell on the details of what might or might not happen I have refrained and come back into simply being present. I have been enjoying the spring here in beautiful Scotland and not thinking too much about anything.
This morning I did a RAIN practice to get more of a sense of how I felt about the move. I feel joyful and optimistic. I feel relief that it is finally happening. I feel like I have been retreating for the last year or so, reflecting on my life and how I want to live it. I feel like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, ready to engage fully in life again with an open heart. I wonder if others feel this way as the lockdown eases?
Could be worse!