Imagine my surprise,
sitting a full hour
in silent and irremediable
fear in the world
to find the body
forgetting
its own fear the instant
it opened and placed
its unassuming hands
on life’s enduring pain
and the world for one
moment
closed its terrifying eyes
in gratitude
saying,
“This is my body, I am found.”
by David Whyte
Fear will tell us its story and often part of that story is this: that things will not be better until the external trigger of the fear is sorted. Here’s an everyday example from my own life. When my partner and son drive to the grandparents, I’m on anxious alert. I await the message that they’ve arrived safely, relying on this to solve my discomfort. And yet, this fear, like many of our emotions and inner states, can transform (fully or partially) before outer circumstances resolve. This is one of the wonders of meditation. Even in the midst of fearful times, islands of comfort can be found, the nervous system can settle into a degree of ease, gratitude and safe ground can be felt.
How can this happen? For the wonderful poet David Whyte it’s when he sits for an hour. He seems to sit with the fear directly and then he lets his heart open to the universality of the experience of fear. I wonder whether he was practicing the beautiful and challenging practice of Tonglen, taught in our Level 2 Compassion training. In this practice we gently breathe in the pain, which could be fear or any emotion, and breathe out an antidote to it – relief, kindness, freedom. Then we expand awareness and breathe in the pain of all those feeling similarly. Breathing in the universality of fear, breathing out the relief to all. Sometimes, when the practice ‘takes’, this can bring about a profound shift in perspective. Away from me, here, trapped in my fear, guarding against all the terrors, to wide open heartfelt care and interconnectedness. Here there may be a sense of surrender to the great mystery of life as it is, including the fear. I wonder if this is what David is so evocatively capturing when he writes:
‘…the world for one,
moment,
closed its terrifying eyes,
in gratitude,
saying,
“This is my body, I am found.”
Ps. If you feel now is the time to discover the transformative power of mindfulness and compassion meditation, have a look at our Level 1 Mindfulness training as a starting point. Or, if you’ve already done this, perhaps reading about Tonglen might have inspired you to have a look at Level 2 Compassion. And if it’s the poetry that is beckoning to you check out the next Mindfulness meets Mystical Poetry course.