I want to give you something
necessary as rain and lasting as honey,
something useful as a spoon,
something helpful as wheels.
Sometimes it feels so inadequate
to offer you a poem, a prayer,
the small light of a candle,
a hammock woven only of blessings.
Still, as you meet these difficult hours
I wish you the peace of the amber field,
wish you the rose quartz of dawn.
Because it’s what I can do, I offer you poems,
prayers, the small flame of a candle, and
a hammock of blessings woven with dark, with light.
by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
I often find myself listening to people speaking about the ‘difficult hours’ of their life (or difficult days, months, years, for that matter), and feeling so moved by their suffering I wish I could offer all that Rosemerry speaks of in this poem. And yet so often I feel emptyhanded and inadequate in the face of what I see, despite this heart’s yearning to reach out and alleviate that pain somehow…
Recently, we explored the Self-Compassion Break during the Compassion in Action weekend, and after mindfully acknowledging the difficult situation, sensing into the shared humanity of struggle, I asked the question: what could kindness look like here?
One of the participants shared a helpful further question to that: does this long to be “helped,” “heard,” or hugged?” Looking into this further through a little wander into the world wide web, it seems a lot of people are finding this a useful question and are taking it into a range of situations. It looks like it originated from an article written by Jancee Dunn titled “When Someone You Love Is Upset, Ask This One Question”, but it’s traveled far and wide since, including into Sesame Street – which must mean it’s helpful! It certainly has the potential to shortcut the habitual fixing version of helping, and already the openness to enquire in this way can be a gift of true responsiveness.
And of course maybe even offering help, hearing or hugging is not available. Luckily there’s always the possibility of poems, prayers, the small flame of a candle, and a hammock of blessings woven with dark, with light…
Photo by Fulvio Ciccolo on Unsplash
