Although the wind
blows terribly here,
the moonlight also leaks
between the roof planks
of this ruined house.
by Izumi Shikibu translated by Jane Hirshfield
This poem by Izumi Shikibu, who was one of the greatest female poets of the Heian period in Japan, captures what is, I think, one of the biggest lessons life can teach us.
But sometimes we don’t see what is right in front of our nose.
At each crisis point in our lives we so easily remain convinced that it’s a total disaster. We love to jump to conclusions and have endless fixed opinions express themselves with finality. Why is ‘Full Catastrophe Living’, as the grandfather of mindfulness Jon Kabat-Zinn called it, so hard to actually ‘get’? In Buddhist teachings we are encouraged to not believe in the duality of good and bad experiences. It’s a tough lesson when difficult emotions are coursing through us and our nervous system is going haywire.
When we have seen umpteen times that things are not what they seem, does this eventually change us, though? A family crisis such as one that happened a couple of weeks ago in my life (different needs clashing and big feelings being triggered and acted upon) feels like an utter mess on the face of it, like identities and worlds are crashing into ruins.
Now, sometime later, there’s fresh air in the space between us all and all is well! But even at the time, the possibility of ‘moonlight’ was mentioned. So yes, I think we do get it, but very slowly, our preferences worn down by mindfulness practice and maybe also by age.
When a strong reaction or feeling sweeps through our inner environment like wind or fire, how might it be to not hold on so tight to the way you think it should be? Not trying to hold up the roof and all the walls in a great struggle against reality. Letting the ruination, that might be as much a clearing and opening to fresh air and moonlight, happen…because it is happening.
When I listen to my body’s response to this idea, I feel lightness, softening and the possibility of grace. I’m reminded of John Kabat-Zinn’s well-known phrase ‘you can’t change the waves but you can learn to surf’.
Ps. If the possibility of a more graceful surfing of the waves calls to you, try joining our Level 1 Being Present course here.
Photo by Jason Mavrommatis on Unsplash